I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize