I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
love makes seman taste better
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
