my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize