im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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