You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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