Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
