haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
