are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
