tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Actions speak louder than pants.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
