Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
