operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize