He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
