Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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