Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize