so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize