Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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