I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
