yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize