So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
