life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
