i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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