chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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