i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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