found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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