I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Bring me that man meat
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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