Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
