May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
