if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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