I love black thongs
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
