I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
