I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
