I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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