I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We need to get me chipped asap
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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