So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
