I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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