"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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