You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
