Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
