well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
