Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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