she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize