never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
