I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
