AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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