:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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