They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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