I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i think i have herpe
just one?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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