we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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