I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
