thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
