I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize