i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Boobs speak an international language.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
