physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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