i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
