i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
