Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All I want is dick and wine.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
