I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
