didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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