Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
