Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
