i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
