PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
