i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
