How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
